Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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