Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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