We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
