The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
