i'm signing you up for texting rehab
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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