thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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