youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
