I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
