Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
