Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she looked like the before picture.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
