you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
