We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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