# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
