I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
