yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
