I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
