Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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