put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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