Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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