But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
