I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
