I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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