I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
