her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
