So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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