if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
