Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
