what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
