At least make sure they are 18
Why
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
