I looked at my own cervix.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
