Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
