If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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