Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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