Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
