So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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