if you like me you must not know who I am
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
