She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
