Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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