Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
