We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
