U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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