That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
