In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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