So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
