My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
