Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
