Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
