I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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