i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
