what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
