I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize