You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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