Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
