I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
